I was chasing after a life filled with joy, but I was struggling to find it. Despite everything I was trying to bring me happiness, it didn’t seem to be working. In fact, the more I tried the further joy seemed from my reach.

I was already following society’s typical life plan even ahead of schedule in some aspects. I was married to an amazing man, who I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with, but both of us kept feeling like something was missing. 

What was missing?

We had no checklist to consult of what we were missing in our life, however, we were determined to make our lives better. Subconsciously, we took a look around at other people; what did they seem to have figured out that we didn’t? Then, we found ourselves voicing these ideas on what was probably wrong…

For instance, we lived in an apartment at the time and based on what we saw and were told obviously that was not going to work for a married couple. We needed to buy a house. Then, we should probably fill the house with these really useful items that make life easier and more fun. However, to buy a house and nice things you need more money which as a young couple we definitely did not have. Now, we understood that we needed to make more money to buy the house and things inside it to have our friends and family want to come and visit. However, to make money and to have friends you needed to have time for both, so we wore ourselves out staying busy with basically everything. All of this was done in hopes of finding happiness.

Joining the Pursuit of Happiness

We were following everyone else in joining the pursuit of happiness based on what they told us. Following society’s ideas of happiness gave us an outline of what we needed to achieve. Considering my personality, I am a master at making plans. Consequently, there would be no chance of failing now. We would be unstoppable with a plan in our hands to tackle anything and everything. Happiness was within our reach and we could feel it.  The plan required working hard to “be better” then, we could “have better” which would make us “feel better”. 

What could go wrong?!

I am the type of person who is empowered by having a direct plan of attack, so I was excited to have a plan to chase down our happiness. However, it was not long before chasing “better” began to make us feel like we were always failing and falling short. Then, we began to feel the pressure creep in and it grew out of control. We started to feel more anxious and worried about meeting our goals. Although we thought we were unhappy before, it was nothing like we were feeling now. We were miserable. 

We reached a breaking point.

We were incredibly unhappy and felt like we were about to crack under the pressure. At the same time, it took reaching this point to make us stop and reflect. Realizing how miserable we were, we knew something had to change. This was our breaking point. It was a time filled with lots of tears and frustration. We were entirely exhausted and desperate for change. During this time of reflection, we realized in the beginning we made a huge mistake! 

We stole our joy!

But, stealing your own joy means you can bring it back! Our mistake was unconsciously allowing others to decide what would determine our happiness. After getting married it was an exciting wonderful time full of adventure and joy I never knew existed. We knew we had what mattered… God, each other, our family, and friends. It wasn’t until we looked around us and thought we were not doing enough that unhappiness ever settled in. Society seemed to be telling us what to do, but we had to remember we were called to be different. 

We needed to be ourselves.

We were created to be uniquely us which meant no longer relying on someone else’s standards of happiness. Then, we understood we needed to stop trading our joy for “fitting in” with the crowd. We took control of our happiness by defining it by what is truly important to us which completely changed our perspectives. First, we realized other people were just as unhappy as us, but they were stuck in the battle of trying to project they had achieved it all. While we were imitating them, we had lost sight of ourselves and our values which led to our unhappiness. Although, we thought we were being held back by our house, money, possessions, etc. it was chasing after the wrong things that kept us from our dreams. Instead, we began to find joy in the little things we already were surrounded by. We became less stressed without the pressure of living up to other people’s expectations and ideas of happiness. Joy came flooding back into our lives by choosing the simple yet important values to us. 

Choose the Path to Happiness

I tell you our story to give you encouragement that you can do this too! Choose right now to take back your life and happiness! 

Breaking points are a beautiful opportunity because when you refuse to break you know your only other option is to bring about real change. Find your joy by connecting with yourself and your values. Then, turn your blinders on to comparing yourself to others. Stop chasing other people’s dreams and start building your own. Take time to delight in the simple moments and take time to express gratitude for all you already have. 

Your path to happiness starts here by choosing to make your journey the beautiful wild adventure it was meant to be, so make it your own and enjoy!